2021年八省联考高考英语读后续写真题及范文赏析
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
During this past year, I've had three instances of car trouble. Each time these things happened, I was sick of the way most people hadn't bothered to help. One of those times, I was on the side of the road for close to three hours with my big Jeep. I put signs in the windows, big signs that said NEED A JACK(千斤顶), and offered money. Nothing. Right as I was about to give up, a Mexican family in a small truck pulled over, and the father bounded out.
He sized up the situation and called for his daughter, who spoke English. He conveyed through her that he had a jack but that it was too small for the Jeep, so we would need something to support it. Then he got a saw(锯子)from the truck and cut a section out of a big log on the side of the road. We rolled it over and put his jack on top, and we were in business.
I started taking the wheel off, and then, if you can believe it, I broke his tire iron. No worries: He handed it to his wife, and she was gone in a flash down the road to buy a new tire iron. She was back in 15 minutes. We finished the job, and I was a very happy man.
The two of us were dirty and sweaty. His wife prepared a pot of water for us to wash our hands. I tried to put a $20 bill in the man's hand, but he wouldn't take it, so instead I went up to the truck and gave it to his wife as quietly as I could. I asked the little girl where they lived. Mexico, she said. They were in Oregon so Mommy and Daddy could work on a fruit farm for the next few weeks. Then they would go home.
注意:
1. 续写词数应为150左右;
2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
When I was about to say goodbye, the girl asked if I'd had lunch.
After they left, I got into my Jeep and opened the paper bag.
【点评】      本文以人物为线索展开,讲述了去年作者汽车出现了三次故障,大多数人都懒得帮忙,作者对此感到很心厌。有一次,他的汽车又出故障了。他在路边求助了接近3个小时,但是没有人停下来帮忙。就在打算放弃的时候,一个过路的墨西哥家庭停下来,提供了帮助。从第1段续写的首句内容“就在我要说再见的时候,女孩问我是否吃过午饭了。”可知第一段可描写作者和墨西哥家庭一块儿吃午饭的过程。第二段首句内容“在他们离开后,我上了吉普车,打开纸袋。”显然,第二段描写作者在这一家人离开后,在纸袋里发现什么,以及自己的感受。两段续写线索是“吃午餐——交流——感谢——回家——发现东西——感悟”。按照原文及故事发展逻辑,纸袋里的东西包括作者悄悄放给这个家庭的主妇的20美元,既然这点是共性的,那么就得努力在“感悟”方面写出彩。李琳老师的两篇下水文语言表达流畅、地道,第1段主人公受邀与墨西哥家庭共进午餐的动作细节描写生动,角对话浅显,符合人物身份与语言交际习惯。第2段着重描述主人公的感悟:将乐助精神以自身行动传递。高阶版以一哲言结束全文,发人深思,又回味无穷,这恰恰是新课标所要求的学生思维品质核心素养的生动展现。细细品味李琳老师的两篇下水文,可以感悟通过英语写作教学为载体,如何指导学生将语言知识转换为语言能力,如何培养及传递积极的文化意识和高阶思维品质,如何提高语言学习能力,那么我们的学生的英语学科核心素养就可以落地培养。
范文赏析
1.第一段:      When I was about to say goodbye, the girl asked if I'd had lunch. Not until then did I hear my stomach rumbling. (句式:倒装。同时用到拟声词rumble说明我饿了,不直接说hungry)I shrugged awkwardly. (很短的一个动作,shrug,表示我的尴尬)A smile of sympathy flickering across her face, she suddenly turned around and darted toward her truck. (小女孩的同情,加上动作链来突出女孩的热情)For split seconds, the girl turned up breathlessly, a paper bag held tightly in her hand. (小女孩拿来一个纸袋,这里开始和第二段衔接。此处我简化了很多词,本来写了很多)“Here you are. It will…do you good.” She stammered in broken English, grinning mysteriously.(这里我抖了一个包袱:为什么她神秘笑?这也是为第二段铺垫,这里broken English照应文中他们是墨西哥人,mysteriously是包袱)Maybe, it was her toy she didn’t need any longer. (我的想法)I waved to the family, seeing them walking across the street hand in hand. (纯粹是为了衔接下一句)
第二段:      After they left, I got into my Jeep and opened the paper bag.In sight came a h
amburger and a 20-dollar bill, to which a note was attached.(一般用倒装句来让一个东西出场,包袱解开)It read, “I bought them with all my savings. Good luck.”(不需要解释,本来我也是写了很多,字数限制,都简化掉了)As if a bolt of lighting struck me, I gaped in gratitude and meanwhile felt a stab of guilt for my misunderstanding her goodwill. (描写我的震惊。这种描写手法太多了,我用的是比喻,同时用gape动作)I looked out of the window eagerly only to find their truck just alongside. What a coincidence!(无巧不成书!这是文学手法)The little girl returned me a sweet smile, her tinkling laughter filling the air. (这里我想刻画女孩的可爱,我脑子里想到:她在丛中笑。为了唤起一种艺术画面的美感,我用银铃笑声)It was the first time I was not sick of my car trouble but lucky for seeing a beautiful heart.(照应第一段,突出主题:美丽的心灵)
2.【基础版】      When I was about to say goodbye, the girl asked if I’d had lunch. Hearing what she said, I realized that I didn’t have lunch. To be honest, after working hard for several hours, I was so hungry. Feeling a bit embarrassed, I replied: “no!” The girl said with a smile, “Come on! Join us. The sandwich made by my mum is delicious!” With moved tears rolling around my eyes, I took the sandwich. After eating it like a wolf, I felt that it was
the most tasty sandwich that I had ever had. Seeing my looks, they all laughed. Then the girl’s mother placed another sandwich in a paper bag and handed it to me, saying gently: “Keep it and have it later! We had to go now.”   
  细细品味After they left, I got into my jeep and opened the paper bag. What surprised me a lot was that there was a sandwich and the bill given by me. Holding the paper bag tightly, I stood still, a warm current rising in my heart. How grateful I was to the family helping me. Although most people I met on the road were indifferent, there were still some people like this family who was so helpful and thoughtful. From then on, I placed a jack and some common tools in my car. When meeting people in need on the road, I would try my best to help them like the family. Only in this way, could more and more people help each other in the future.
 3.【高阶版】      When I was about to say goodbye, the girl asked if I’d had lunch. It was then that I was aware that I didn’t have lunch. To be honest, after several hours’ hard work, my stomach was grunting with hunger. Somewhat embarrassed, I replied: “no!” the girl said
with a smile, “Come on! Join us. The sandwich is my mother’s specialty.” With moved tears rolling around my eyes, I reached for the sandwich. After devouring it like a wolf, I felt that it was the tasty sandwich that I had ever had. Seeing my looks, they all burst out laughing. Then, the girl’s mother had another sandwich placed in a paper bag and handed it to me, saying gently : “Keep it and have it later! We have to go now.”