美文赏析（二十二）
About Thin People                                     
Caesar was tight. Thin people need watching. I’ve been watching them for most of my adult life, and I don't like what I see. When these narrow fellows spring at me, I quiver to my toes. Thin people come in all personalities, most of them menacing. You've got your “together” thin person, your mechanical thin person, your condescending thin person, your tsk-tsk thin person, your efficiency-expert thin person. All of them are dangerous.
In the first place, thin people aren't fun. They don't know how to goof off at least in the best, fat sense of the word. They’ve always got to be adoing. Give them a coffee break, and they'll jog around the block. Supply them with a quiet evening at home, and they'll fix the screen door and lick S & H green stamps. They say things like "there aren't enough hours in the day." Fat people never say that. Fat people think the day is too damn long already.
Thin people make me tired. They’ve got speedy little metabolisms that cause them to bustle
briskly. They're forever rubbing their bony hands together and eyeing new problems to "tackle". I like to surround myself with sluggish, inert, easygoing fat people, the kind who believe that if you clean it up today, it'll just get dirty again tomorrow.
Thin people believe in logic. Fat people see all sides. The sides fat people see are rounded blobs, usually gray, always nebulous and truly not worth worrying about. But the thin person persists. "If you consume more calories than you burn," says one of my thin friends, "You will gain weight. It's that simple." Fat people always grin when they hear statements like that. They know better.
Fat people realize that life is illogical and unfair. They know very well that God is not in his heaven and all is not right with the world. If God was up there, fat people could have two doughnuts and a big orange drink an-time they wanted it.
New words and expressions生词和短语
Caesar ['si:zə] n.Julius Caesar凯撒(100—44 B.C.)罗马统帅，政治家，与庞培和克拉苏结成“三头执政”，后击败庞培，成为罗马独裁者，后被共和派贵族刺杀。
quiver ['kwivə] vt.(轻微地)颤动，抖动
menace ['menəs] v.& n.威胁，恐吓
condescending [kɔndi'sendiŋ] adj.带着优越感表示关心的；用恩赐态度相待的。
tsk-tsk ['tisk'tisk] n.(表示不赞同、同情、不耐烦的)啧啧声
goof off v.[俚]闲荡，混日子
ado [ə'du:] v.辛劳，骚动
metabolism [me'tæbəlizəm] n.新陈代谢美文赏析
briskly [briskli] adv.活泼地，活跃地
sluggish ['slʌgiʃ] adj.懒惰的，懒散的
inert [i'nə:t] adj.呆滞，迟缓的，无生气的
blob [blɔb] n.(难以名状的)一团，黑糊糊的一堆
nebulous ['nebjuləs] adj.模糊不清的，朦胧的
参考译文
论瘦子
恺撒是对的：瘦子需要关注。自成年以后我一直在关注着他们，对所见的情况我感到很不高兴。每当这些狭长的家伙跳到我面前时，我总是全身上下连脚趾头都发抖。瘦子的个性不尽相同，但大多数都是危险人物。你认识头脑“清晰”的瘦子，机械呆板的瘦子，带有优越感的瘦子，不耐烦的发出喷喷声的瘦子，和效率专家瘦子。他们全是危险的家伙。
首先，瘦子不是有趣的人。他们不懂得怎样闲荡，至少不懂这个词最大的好处。他们总是有事可做。给他们一点时间休息喝咖啡，他们便会绕楼房慢跑。但凡他们有个安静的夜晚可以待在家里，就会修纱门和舔S&H绿邮票。他们说“一天的时间不够用”。胖子从来不这样说。胖子认为每一天时间过得太长了。
瘦子让我疲倦，他们有快速的小新陈代谢体系，使他们忙碌而活跃。他们总是搓着瘦骨嶙峋的双手，双眼寻新问题来“解决”。我希望慵懒、动作迟缓，好脾气的胖子围绕着我，他
们是那种相信如果你今天打扫干净，明天又会再变脏的人。
瘦子相信逻辑，胖子看全方面。胖子看到的所有方面都是圆乎乎的一团，通常是灰的，总是很朦胧的，而且真的不用担心，但瘦子会坚持。“如果你吸收的卡路里比你消耗的多，”我一个瘦子朋友说“你就会长胖。就那么简单”。胖子听到这样的话总是咧嘴一笑。他们更明白这其中的道理。
胖子认识到生活是没有逻辑的，也是不公平的。他们知道上帝不在他的天堂，而且这个世界上所有事情都不对劲。如果上帝在那儿的话，胖子就可能随他们喜欢随时享受两个面包圈和一大杯橙汁了。