美文赏析（四十五）
Why I Want a Wife
Judy Syfers
I belong to that classifcation of people known as wives. I am A Wife. And, not altogether incidentally, I am a mother.
Not too long ago a male friend of mine appeared on the scene fresh from a recent divorce. He had one child who is, of course, with his ex-wife. He is looking for another wife. As I thought about him while I was ironing one evening it suddenly occurred to me that I, too, would like to have a wife. Why do I want a wife?
I would like to go back to school so that I can become economically independent, support myself, and if need be, support those dependent upon me. I want a wife who will work and send me to school. And while I am going to school I want a wife to take care of my children.
I want a wife who takes care of my physical needs. I want a wife who will keep my house clean. I want a wife who cooks the meals, a wife who is a good cook. I want a wife who will plan the menus, do the necessary grocery shopping, prepare the meals, serve them pleasantly, and then do the cleaning up while l do my studying. I want a wife who will care for me when I am sick and sympathize with my pain and loss of time from school.
I want a wife who will not bother me with rambling complaints about a wife's duties. But I want a wife who will listen to me when I feel the need to explain a rather difficult point l have come across in my course of studies. And I want a wife who will type my papers for me when I have written them.
When I am through with school and have a job, I want my wife to quit working and remain at home so that my wife can more fully and completely take care of wife's duties.
If, by chance, I find another person more suitable as a wife than the wife I already have, I want the liberty to replace my present wife with another one. Naturally, I will expect a fresh, new life; my wife will take the children and be solely responsible for them so that I a
m left free.
My God, who wouldn't want a wife?
New words and expressions生词和短语
incidentally [insi'dentəli] adv.偶然地
美文赏析ex-wife n.前妻
iron ['aiən] v.熨，烫平
rambling ['ræmbliŋ] adj.(说话，文章等)散漫的，不连贯的
quit [kwit] v.[美]停止，放弃
参考译文
我为什么想要个妻子
我属于那一类被人称做“妻子”的人。我是别人的妻子，同时，一点也不出人意料，我还是一个母亲。
不久前，我的一个男性朋友神采奕奕地出现在我面前，他刚离了婚，有一个孩子。当然，现在孩子和他前妻待在一起。他正在物一个新老婆。一天晚上，当我边熨衣服边想到他的事时，突然一个念头出现了：我也想要一个妻子。为什么不能呢?
我想要一个能满足我生理需求的妻子。我要一个能保持我的房间干净清洁的妻子。我要一个会做饭的妻子，一个能做美味饭菜的妻子。我要一个妻子，她会制订每日的菜谱，去杂贷店买东西，准备饭菜，在吃饭时令人愉快地端上食物，并在饭后我要学习的时候清洗所有的碗碟。我要一个妻子，她在我生病时能照顾我，能体谅同情我的病痛及不能去上学所带来的时间上的损失。
我要一个妻子，她不会拿那些她应尽的职责来向我无休止地抱怨。但当我需要解释一个我在学习过程中遇到的难点时，我要一个能听我倾诉的妻子。而且我需要一个妻子在我写完论文后为我打字。
当我学完学校的课程到工作后，我要我的妻子辞去工作，留在家里，这样我的妻子就可以更好地完全担负起作妻子的责任。
如果我有机会到另一个比现在妻子更合适的人，我要有换掉我现在的妻子再娶别的女人的自由。自然，我希望有一个愉快的新生活；我的妻子应该带着孩子，并独自负责照顾他们，这样我就不用操心了。
我的老天! 谁不想要个妻子呢?
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