高考英语写作训练
2021年武汉四调续写
Walking across campus with every pair of eyes on you can be embarrassing, especially when you’re13years old.I looked around me in desperate search of a friendly face,a smile,anything.I was quite disappointed,to say the least.And I,in turn,felt somewhat foolish,walking across campus with a false smile on my face.I was simply attempting to follow the advice my mother had given me years before: when things get awkward,smile.No matter where you are,a smile will always be understood.A smile is universal.At that very moment,however,I felt my mother’s advice didn’t work.负
2母亲的建议无效到有效的转变——文章预判(首段奠定了文章未来的走势)weixiao
3文章重要线索：微笑——文章内在
阅读文段的时候要注意那些帮助你理解故事情节的句子(蓝体字)
文章明线:“我”的情感由负到正文章
暗线：微笑到底在这个过程里面发挥了什么样的作用
On top of it all,my mind was racing with questions and concerns typical of any 13-year-old on the first day of school:where would I sit at lunch?Who would I talk to?Not to mention,how would I make friends when I didn’t even speak the language?My heartbeat quickened,and I felt nervous.Still,I did my best to maintain calm so as not to let my guard down and reveal to others just how scared I truly was.负
作者身份：13岁美国女孩转学到中国校园里的第一天(一个外国人在一个异国校园里第一天上学，慢慢能理解作者的负态度)
When the teacher introduced me to the class as the“American girl”,10sets of hands immediately shot up.Some students hadquestions,others wanted topractice their English with me.Because I didn’t speak much Chinese yet,I communicated with the other students through hand motions mixed in with broken English and Chinese.Despite the attention,I wasn’t sure how much of it was positive.It was almost as if they weren’tsure what to make of me and I was being examined.Then again,who could blame them?After all,I was the first American ever to attend the school.So essentially,we were all first timers.负(after all毕竟，这种标志必须要注意）
Then came the first class–Chinese painting.负
(续写动笔前先看看最后一段的内容，可以推断出：第四段必须是写负态度，因为到第五段一开始才出现由负到正这样的一个转变，整个这一段话的大方向就确定了，所以第四段不管写什么一定要写不好的事。)
第四段写作思路:
1作者遇到问题—尴尬(这样便能和第五段开头过渡句承上启下)—与前文有关
2为什么会出现这种问题(原因一定要写，否则尴尬就不成立)—与前文有关
3遇到问题时作者有什么感受和心理活动
(解释一下第二点和第三点：原因是表象，心理活动是内在，两面都要写出来)
(作者遇到什么问题会觉得尴尬？请尽量编简单一点，不要太复杂。比如上课拉链坏了，突然衣服破了…这些都不靠谱，你编的问题必须要和前文有关系，你会遇到的尴尬的情形有很多，但是一定要和前文有关联。前文是我是一个13岁的美国女孩，描述我转学到中国校园里的第一天，我的中文说的不好，和别人沟通很差，我不知道别人怎么想的，我很紧张，我很担心…有这么多内容。所以你的这个尴尬一定要和前文有关。)
To tell the truth,I made every last bit of effort to catch up with the teacher’s words, but still couldn’t understand what he was instructing at all.Then all the students were required to finish a piece of work on their own.Seeing those strange drawing tools and the blank paper on the desk,I felt really stressed because I had no idea where to start,also afraid of others laughing at my weakness.
As I burnt with great embarrassment,Li Hua,who was next to me,gave me a warmsmile.负—正(最后一段开头微先再现：微笑肯定会迟到，但是不会缺席。)
第五段写作思路:
1作者的问题解决—有人相助
2怎么解决的问题—别人教会你怎么做(因为不知道该怎么办)（一系列连续动作）
3解决问题之后作者有什么感受和心理活动—爽
4文章结尾突出中心(不一定要写出一个长得特别像中心的句子，那是比较土的做法，故事讲完了就讲完了，最后扣一下主题就完事了)—微笑
He seemed to understand my awkward situation,so he turned to me and carefully explained what I sho
uld do with fluent English.With his patient guidance,I managed to finish my first Chinese painting!Simple as it was,the teacher praised my work in front of the class.I did my best not to show pleasure,but joy danced all the way to my heart,for I knew this would be a wonderful beginning of a new school life,just starting with that warm and friendly smile.
全文呈现
Then came the first class–Chinese painting.To tell the truth,I made every last bit of effort to catch up with the teacher’s words,but still couldn’t understand what he was instructing at all.Then all the students were required to finish a piece of work
on their own.Seeing those strange drawing tools and the blank paper on the desk,I felt really stressed because I had no idea where to start,also afraid of others laughing at my weakness.
As I burnt with great embarrassment,Li Hua,who was next to me,gave me a warm smile.He seemed to understand my awkward situation,so he turned to me and carefully explained what I should do with fluent English.Withhis patient guidance,I managed to finish my firstChinese painting!Simple as it was,the teacher praised my work in front of the class.Ididmy best not to show pleasure,but joy danced all the way to my heart,for I knew this would be a wonderful beginning of a new school life, just starting
with that warm and friendly smile.
思路解析:
To tell the truth(描述“我”的心理活动),I made every last bit of effort to catch up with the teacher’s words,but still couldn’t understand what he was instructing at all. Then all the students were required to finish a piece of work on their own.(大家都能做到，我做不到，确实很尴尬)Seeing those strange drawing tools and the blank paper on the desk(名词结构对仗:adj.+n,adj.+n.),I felt really stressed because I had no idea where to start,also afraid of others laughing at my weakness.(整段话不停在写负态度)写作表达积累
Seeing…,I felt…,also…看到…，我有+感受1(补充原因），也有+感受2
make every last bit of effort尽全力
at all(否定)根本，完全
instruct=teach，同义替换
on one's own独自
He seemed to understand my awkward situation(他不理解他怎么帮我),so he turned to me(呼应他坐我旁边，他不朝着我这边怎么给我解释)and carefully explained what I should do with fluent English(解决语言不通的难题).With his patient guidance(因为仔细解释),I managed to finish my first Chinese painting!(非常值得纪念，所以用一个感叹号)Simple as it was,the teacher praised my work in front of the class.(用了as引导的倒装句，赚点印象分，而且也写出了解决问题之后作者的感受和心理活动——爽) Ididmy best not to show pleasure,but joy danced all the way to my heart(想一想你被老师表扬的时候你会有什么感受，你会有什么体现),for I knew this would be a wonderful beginning of a new school life(因为我是第一天来的),just starting with that warm and friendly smile.
写作表达积累
with one's patient guidance在某人耐心的指导下
manage to do设法做到了某事
joy dance all the way to one's heart“心花怒放”，内心充满喜悦
当情节发展到一定阶段，叹号必然会出现，而且要注意，续写肯定会写到叹号。因为结尾一定是一个正面的，积极的，理想的一个结果，当达到这个结果的时候，你肯定多少会有一点情感的流露
续写听课三大君子协议
1.自己写
2.看老师写法
3.自己想(对比自己和老师的思路)
续写三大提升要点
1.整个写作过程到底怎么思考的
2.写每个句子的时候到底在干些什么
3.读前面内容的时候在捕捉什么信息
发布评论