来源：绍兴一模续写
话题:人和动物友好相处，爱，善良
文本分析
I'm retired and not responsible for much these days. I don't have schoolage children who require help with their homework. I sleep in when I choose, do a little writing and repair a few things around the house. My wife's work, on the other hand, is neverending.（注意妻子工作的特点：永无止境的）Diana takes care other parents in their midnineties, tends to home and garden, volunteers for various munity organizations, and is a goldstar grandmother. She is also a dedicated cat lover, and cats have always been her pet of choice.（注意：在下文中妻子的喜欢发生了改变）
All that changed when two small blackandbrown dogs scampered into our yard and melted Diana's heart. It happened not long ago. The dogs appeared unannounced and had been seen by hikers on numerous occasions, roaming the woods like tiny lost souls. They were ho
meless dogs, as wild as the wind. No one could get within 100 yards of them.（突出两只狗的也行与不好相处） In their struggle for survival, the two had figured out a way to avoid people（为下文写Diana女里用爱来感化它们从而接近它们做铺垫）and find food and shelter in the wilderness.
They were undeniably cute and appealing. Many of our neighbors tried to lure them in with treats, but the tiny dogs remained unapproachable. （此处写邻居的努力仍然得不到小狗的亲近，为下文Diana的举动做铺垫）My wife began leaving tasty food out, slowly moving the food bowl closer with each feeding. As days passed, they ventured closer and closer. Diana made a conscious effort not to frighten them. She called them to dinner with a forting voice, letting them know they were safe. It was important that they trusted her. Why? She was looking for something to mother. For Diana, love is the medicine to everything, （突出 Diana乐于分享爱的特点）and nothing tugged at her heartstrings more than a hungry and homeless animal.
Diana named them “Emma”and “Daisy” and she called the dogs her “little wolves.”Initially, t
hey would not let her touch them. As days turned into weeks, their bond slowly grew. Soon, Diana was petting them. Next, they were eating from her hand. Before long, she had them sitting in her lap and following her around the yard.（时间顺序写出 Diana与小狗一步一步亲近的过程） And poof! My wife was instantly transformed from cat lady to dog lady.（与上文中写妻子喜欢猫呼应，所以我们在续写中要注意这一改变）
前文主要内容
写 Diana从小猫爱好者转变为小狗爱好者，并且用爱感染它们与它们一步步亲近。
段首句解读
Paragraph 1:
It wasn't long before the dogs were sleeping in the house and assuming their role as" watchdogs”没过多久，狗就睡在房子里，扮演起了“看门狗”的角。由段首句可知，小狗已然成为我们家的一份子，所以这段要写我们与狗相处的日常以及我对这两只小狗的看法，我们怎样对待它们。
Paragraph 2:
Time in the yard feels like a second childhood with Daisy and Emma playing about our feet.在院子里，黛西和艾玛在我们的脚边玩耍，感觉就像经历了第二次童年。在这一段我们要写出小狗是怎样玩耍的，我和 Diana是怎样看它们的，其次还要注意贯穿全文的一个词“change”， Diana怎样从猫猫爱好者转为小狗爱好者也要在其中提到。
本文主要特点
写作中可能存在的问题
很容易忽略的点change,我们一定要在续写中点名change的存在。还要注意续写中我个人的心理描写对狗的看法，对妻子改变想法的看法。
生词积累
roam v/n.漫步，闲逛
undeniably adv.不可否认地，确凿无疑地
lure v. 引诱，诱惑n. 诱惑(物)，诱惑力;
v. 敢于去(未知或危险等地方); 冒险; 小心地说，谨慎地做;
venture v. 谨慎地做;
好词积累
比喻：as wild as the wind 像风一样狂野
夸张：No one could get within 100 yards of them.没人能接近他们100码之内。
细节描写：tug one’s heart string 触动某人的心弦
下水文
It wasn't long before the dogs were sleeping in the house and assuming their role as" watchdogs”. Gradually, the once skittish dogs transitioned from wary homeless dogs to devoted panions, forming an unspoken bond with Diana that transcended their initial fears. Emma and Daisy began to eagerly respond to Diana's gentle mands, relishing the affection and security she provided. The once "wild" dogs had found a new home not just in our yard but in our hearts, and Diana's unwavering mitment to their wellbeing was a testament to her passionate spirit.
Time in the yard feels like a second childhood with Daisy and Emma playing about our feet. The dogs' playful antics and wagging tails brought an undeniable joy to our household. They became fixtures in our lives, greeting us with lively tail wags and endearing barks that echoed through the halls. Diana, the epitome of resilience and care, seamlessly integrated the dogs into her routine, finding immense fulfillment in their shared moments of walks and gentle play. Despite her lifelong fondness for feline friends, Diana's heart expanded to acmodate these newfound additions. Their transformation was a testament to patience, passion, and the remarkable power of love, illustrating the capacity f
or trust to flourish even in the most timid of creatures.
本次写作思路回顾：
首先阅读文章，提取人物心路历程，故事发展路线，再看题目提供的段首句，确定整体框架，写作思路，最后完成写作，过程中注意主要人物的转变，从爱猫人士转变为用爱感化流浪狗，选取一些高级词汇表达更优。
参考答案：
It wasn’t long before the dogs were sleeping in the house and assuming their role as“watchdogs” They became fierce protectors of our home, a forting presence. Each day, they would police the property wholeheartedly and then return to the house expecting a sweet treat and 描写人物的英语作文a gentle pat on the head for a job well done. Their love and devotion were unquestioning. They quickly became integrated into our daily lives. Where did they e from? That was a question I never stopped asking myself. Maybe an unavoidable tragedy brought the little wolves to us, or maybe they had been adopted by a misguided human. Whatever i
t was, our furry friends are the essence of happiness. They display absolute joy in simply being alive. Their wagging tails and cold little noses always lift my spirits.
发布评论