Advanced Business English Writing
Suggested Answers to Task-based Exercises
Chapter One
1. Information control
1). The recommendations should be placed after the conclusions.
2). Point 3d should not have been included.
Language control
1). The style of the sentence, I’ve been asked to … in the Terms of Reference is far too personal.
2). In 4b the word must creates a hard tone that is inappropriate for addressing the vice-president of personnel.
Presentation techniques
1). Conclusions should not be indented in section 5.
2). There is inconsistency in bracketing or not bracketing the letters.
2.
August 12, 2009 Personnel Services Officer North Coast Community College District 2154 Ridge Drive Bend, OR 91783 Dear Personnel Services Officer I am applying for the position of College Communications Coordinator at Woodhill College. Enclosed are my resume and several letters of recommendation. Instead of a statement on the role of a college communications coordinator, I am enclosing reprints of two articles I wrote that spell out my strong feelings about the need for quality education and access for all to these educational opportunities. I hope you won’t mind the substitution. I believe that people who speak for the colleges have to understand public policy and the budget. They must be able to explain these issues to taxpayers in terms they understand, otherwise financial support for the colleges will continue to erode. A college information officer’s main job is to make the public aware of the many worthwhile programs and services the college provides. I believe that providing this information is a vital service, one necessary not only for the health of the college, but also for continued growth of public education. I would like to talk with you about these and other matters. I hope you will invite me for an interview. Thank you. Sincerely Richard Luffkin |
3.
TO: All employees FROM: Randy Plunkett, Director DATE: October 3, 2008 RE: Contributions I recently learned that only a small number of employees have contributed to the Family Relief Fund. This fund is supported by the Personnel Department and helps fellow employees meet emergencies. I urge all of you to support this worthwhile cause. Management understands that no one should be forced to make a contribution to this fund. We also believe however that you would be willing to help a colleague achieve a workable solution to an emergency. Please leave your contributions with Sandy in the Personnel Department office. Your generosity will be genuinely appreciated. |
4. Certain changes should be made to the letter:
1) Catherine Porter could address Audrey Maxwell as “Dear Mrs Maxwell”, rather than “Dear Madam”.
2) She could use “I” rather than “we”. “We” is a way of hiding behind your company,
avoiding responsibility. You should only use it if you really mean the company as a
whole.
3) She could replace formal expressions like “We acknowledge receipt” with more informal ones.
4) She could use the active rather than the passive voice. “I have credited your account” rather than “Your account has been credited”. The first sounds friendlier, the second is very impersonal.
5) She could be more apologetic about the company’s error. Nothing is more annoying that
receiving a letter in which the company admits to having made a mistake but does not bother to apologize.
6) She could be more tactful in turning down Mrs Maxwell’s request for compensation. There is no reason not to be firm if the situation calls for it, but you can be firm and friendly.
A less formal, friendly and apologetic letter
CARSTAIRS CLOTHING COMPANY 43 Gorton Road Marsby MB2 4HY Tel. (0921) 143267 (24 hours) Our ref: CP/TS 26 August 2008 Mrs A. Maxwell 13 Thrixton Crescent Charterborough Dear Mrs Maxwell I was very sorry to see from your letter of 15 August that you are still being charged for a dress which you returned to us. I have investigated the matter, and it appears that we did indeed receive it, but that owing to an error in our Accounts Department, your account was not adjusted. I do apologize for this oversight, and for the inconvenience you have been caused. I have now credited your account with £55.75. I am afraid, however, that I cannot give you any financial compensation. We are always happy to consider claims for compensation when there has been some financial loss as a result of our error, but as I understand it, you have not suffered any such loss. I am sorry you have had to write to us about this matter, and I hope you understand our position on the question of compensation. Yours sincerely Catherine Porter Customer Relations Manager |
发布评论